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Abstinence Before Marriage
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Abstinence Before Marriage

Everyday we face choices that will change the shape of our futures. Perhaps one the greatest challenges facing youth today is the pressure to become sexually active prior to marriage. The choice is yours, but no choice is made without some consequence, whether good or bad.

So what exactly is abstinence? By definition, abstinence is a voluntary choice not to do something. When it comes to sex, abstinence is voluntarily choosing not to engage in sexual activity until marriage.

Sexual activity isn't limited to sexual intercourse, but any type of genital contact or stimulation as well. Life threatening or harmful STIs can be transmitted through various forms of sexual activity, not just intercourse. In addition, your heart, reputation, and relationships are put at risk through any type of sexual activity.

Sex is good…but when taken outside of the context of marriage people experience painful consequences. Premarital sexual activity can lead to unintended pregnancy, a sexually transmitted infection, or even mental and emotional wounds that could last a lifetime. Not only can sex outside of marriage harm you personally, the damaging effects can impact significant others in your life, your community, even your future spouse and children.

Abstinence until marriage is the only way to protect yourself from the negative consequences of engaging in premarital sexual activity. And most importantly, abstinence affirms your personal sense of value, and self respect.

A promising future can be created today through the choices we make about sexual activity. A better tomorrow is worth waiting for…

But What if I Have Already Had Sex?

Finding what was lost.

How do I feel about my sexual past?

  • Sad
  • Regretful
  • Angry
  • Empty
  • Hopeless
  • Embarrassed
  • Afraid
While it seems "everyone is doing it," most youth struggle with feelings about their past sexual choices. The first step in renewal is being honest with yourself and identifying the feelings you experience about your sexual past.

What can really happen after I have sex?

  • Damaged self-respect
  • Broken heart
  • Confused about love
  • Life-changing STIs
  • Pregnancy
Most youth experience some consequence to sex outside of marriage. One out of three will be pregnant by the time they are 20.i Twenty-five percent will have a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)ii, but few will know it. Others will become discouraged and wonder if they'll ever know real love. And some will lose respect for their heart and body. So, next you need to identify the losses and consequences you've already experienced.

iNational Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. (2004). Factsheet: How is the 34% statistic calculated? Washington, DC: Author.

iiAlan Guttmacher Institute. Sex and America's Teenagers, 1994

What does renewing my abstinence mean?

  • Saying "no" when pressured
  • Respecting my body
  • Protecting my heart
  • Choosing healthier relationships
  • Avoiding risky behavior
Having a sexual past doesn't mean you can't make a commitment to be abstinent from this point on in your life. Choose to start over and wait until marriage by being faithful to your future spouse today. Abstinence is a decision only you can make and the benefits will last your lifetime.

What can I gain if I wait until marriage?

  • Dreams and goals realized
  • Enjoy being me
  • Confidence
  • A promising future
  • Experiencing real love
The best sex happens within the safety of marriage-when there's no risk of betrayal, heartbreak or disease. The safest way to avoid damage to your heart and body is to wait for your husband or wife. After all, don't you want them to wait for you?

How do I start renewing my abstinence?

  • A buddy system
  • Find a trusted adult
  • Read more about the issue
  • Share with boyfriend/girlfriend
Without help, it's easy to slip up on your commitment to wait. So it's time to 'fess up…talk with your partner about respecting each other physically and emotionally. Make a point of sticking with friends who will help you avoid risky behavior like drinking, drugs and hookin' up. And, confide in a healthy, accepting adult who can give you good advice.

The choice to renew your abstinence will positively impact your life. What was once lost can be found by making the decision today to wait until marriage.

          Give yourself a promising future.
...Re-commit to abstinence before marriage.


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